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Current Mood: RAGE OFA THOUSAND BURNING SUNS

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The first two drafts of this post were somewhat middle of the road wanky. I was whining at

anxietygrrl with my half-assed post and she said, "You need to just go all out balls-to-the-wall with your wank one of these days."

So. *deep breath*

I am fucking SICK AND TIRED of the goddamned Prince of Tennis fandom because people cannot be fucking considerate or have such huge fucking chips on their shoulders they've turned themselves into fucking martyrs or they're just completely lacking in any sort of basic human decency. I mean, I LOVED this series with all of my HEART AND SOUL and certain factions within the fandom are RUINING IT, completely and utterly TARNISHING my love for this series! And that makes me SO FUCKING MAD that I could just... just... just kick small puppies or something! *rages*

And I've tried my DAMNDEST to be polite and helpful and tolerant, but I can't keep getting sand thrown in my face day after day and so I am going to take my fucking ball and GO HOME. Or at least part of my ball. OTHER sections of the fandom have been really nice and I like promoting them as much as I can, but there are other sections (namely the TezuAto fandom that, despite the influx of SOME new--and wonderfully darling--blood has become a raging cesspool of intolerance and hate and all things that make me RUN from a pairing because, dammit, I want to SPARKLE over the things I love, not rage and snarl at other factions) that make me INSANE and thus I want absolutely no association with them anymore. All TezuAto links have been CULLED FROM THE SITE! I want absolutely no assiciation between myself and them EVER AGAIN!

I hope you're all happy. What could have been something grand and glorious has turned into fucking ASHES because of the way you handled things. No, on second thought, I hope you're NOT happy because you've certainly made ME unhappy. I hope you all burn in hell. And I almost NEVER say that, certainly not in public, but THAT'S HOW FAR YOU'VE PUSHED ME.

Oh, and Fleeting Fancies has been updated! ^_^v

Amanda: Fandom people have what I like to call Internet Aspberger's. They miss the obvious social cues.

Is it any wonder I love and adore her?

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...aw, dammit. T_T I will lend you the Idiot Smiter. Ignore the idiots, they like attention.

...although wankery of that sort was pretty much why I left CCS fandom. o_oa

I... did not write this post for the sole sake of stirring shit up in the fandom, despite what it may seem like. Some of the issues I have with the Prince of Tennis fandom are genuine issues and I still say it's one of the wankiest on the planet. (Y'know. That's NOT HP or LotR. We can't really touch those. ^_~) You just rarely SEE the wank. However, it's really not bad for everyone, a lot of people are happily into the fandom and never see even a HINT of wank. I don't mean to scare anyone off, for the most part it's a fun, silly little series. Most people are really great and sweet to talk to.

That said... this post was very much written with my tongue in my cheek. Wank is so often silly to me that I just can't help mocking it a little. And my fandom. Because some of us take things SO SERIOUSLY that it boggles my mind a little. And this is a much more out-of-the-way place than my regular journal, so I put it here. And, yeah, I'm irritated right now, I'm a little fed up with a few people, so instead of simmering quietly over it, I decided, as suggested, to go balls-to-the-wall with my wank. *grin*

*glomps and huggles* I very much appreciate the offer of the Idiot Smiter, though, which I'll bet has seen some good action in the CCS fandom. I kind of... well, FEAR that fandom. .____.

Nyu? ;-; I hope I didn't have anything to do with this.... I mean, I did say something recently, but I tried to make it clear that my comment was only about certain people and not that part of the fandom as a whole......

*paranoid*

I... don't want to leave you with the impression that I'm secretly simmering in hatred/irritation behind your back. Or that you were involved in my motivation for this post. Because you weren't and I'm not mad at you or ANYTHING like that. *glomps and snuggles* Beyond that, perhaps a public LJ post isn't the best place to discuss this, maybe over e-mail or something?

I offer you a hug, even if you are my arch-nemesis, because inconsiderate people ruining things you love sucks mightily. It's good to get it out, though. Otherwise you'd explode, and there'd be Becky brains all over the walls, and that would just suck.

. . . I'm not being too convincing with the sympathy here, am I? ~hugs~ May you find new sparklies to sooth your wounds.

.........~~do I win this battle if I get to run around the room screaming, "HA HA I TRICKED YOU I TRICKED YOU YOU FELL FOR IT HAHAHAHAHA!"? 'Cause I think that'd be fun. >:D~~

*sobs on Ingrid's shoulder* It feels like my heart is breaking! I mean, I poured my heart and SOUL into this fandom and this pairing and what do I get for it? People turning around to kick dirt in my face and spit on me for my efforts! *blows nose on Ingrid's sleeve*

*clings and breathes a big sigh of relief* I've just been extremely paranoid lately. Yes, I have issues. -_- But if you'd like to discuss anything at all over e-mail or IM or what have you, I'd be more than happy. This fandom's distinct fear of having an honest discussion about anything is starting to make my brain atrophy.

*skips off to watch MaruMa 8 with a lightened heart (and less queasy stomach)*

Well, no. Because then I'd just go "HAHAHAHA BITCH GUESS WHO'S NOT GETTING CHAPTER THREE?". But that would be -cruel-. Also, it's not like it's actually typed up to wave tauntingly at you, 'cause I'm sick.

~pats you warily~ You're paying for dry cleaning that shirt, you know. It's got Becky germs on it now. This is my punishment for trying to show sympathy, isn't it?

Well, generally, I think at this point, we're good enough friends to tell each other directly if something bothers us, rather than going around with thinly veiled attempts to snark at each other, eh? ^_~ If I have a problem with something you've said, I'll take it directly to you. Though, I can certainly understand the fandom's fear of honest discussion because a good number of the times I've tried have resulted in... ahhh... less than stellar results because a lot of people just don't want--ahhhh, I was about to stick my hand down my pants even further, so I'll shut up. XD

Instead I'll comment that I stared at your icon for about five seconds going, "Catcher... pitcher... catcher... pitcher... ca--*LOL!!* Bwahahahaha, best... icon... ever...." XD

XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

*glomps and squeezes* I'm glad you feel that way. Because our full-frontal snark play-wank is so much more fun and beautiful. And I do so wish people would stop tiptoeing around and say something once in a while. I mean, after the first explosion or two, I'm generally a nice and reasonable person. Of course.... *remembers the last time someone tried to disagree reasonably in this fandom* Then again, maybe it's better to just hide under a nice cool rock.

And have some kitties. Kitties WILL make you feel better.

Oh, please. You'd give it to me, anyway, because who ELSE are you going to talk about the series with that's, you know, NOT INSANE and doesn't write SOUL-BURNING FIC? I'd, uh, give you a hug, but considering what I just did, I pretty much KNOW what you'd do in retaliation.

It is your punishment, yes. But I honestly do appreciate that you'd give your arch-nemesis a hug if you felt I needed it. It means a lot to me. *serious hug!* This fandom drives me insane sometimes, so I can understand that people would buy this as 100% serious, but... really, "ASHES!" and "LINKS HAVE BEEN CULLED FROM THE SITE!" C'mon, it's at least a LITTLE funny, right? XD

Well . . . yes, I would, because you're the ONLY ONE I can squee with over this stuff. But I can maintain the threat for days, man, -days-. And I don't want your disgusting, germy hugs, bitch.

I haven't even -done- anything lately! Not that bad! ~grumbles~ And I maintain that my willingness to believe stems from both my current viral state and the fact that I obviously have an exceptionally low opinion of your corner of the fandom. Mwaha! Win for me!

... can I... know what's been going on? Because... you know, I've tried to distance myself away from the fandom as far as I can. ^^;;;

And as a ZukaAto, this makes me really sad... *tries to pull Becky again* Wah...

I do think people take things too seriously--even the people who SAY they don't take things too seriously. And I'd rather be open and honest about things, but when so many people are so touchy and don't want to hear it... well, it's hard. Thankfully, there are a lot more people out there who are more upbeat about fandom and make us forget about the wank while we hide under our nice, cool rocks.

With KITTIES! KITTIES KITTIES KITTIES! I love kitties. And pictures of kitties. I can't get enough of kitties. *smooshie-hugs the kitties and Emily-chan*

Plus, you know that I really do appreciate the chapters and, as you said, I remind you that there ARE still good things about the books, besides the stupid brat. (Whom I hate. With the burning intensity of a thousand suns.)

*huggles more, just to be obstinate* >:D I agree, you clearly wouldn't fall for something like this if you weren't sick. Speaking of which, shouldn't you be in bed?

nd the fact that I obviously have an exceptionally low opinion of your corner of the fandom.

Shouldn't you love me more for mocking it then?

Well... I would hate to point fingers because I don't want something that irritates ME to be seen as the same thing as me saying, "OMG NO THAT'S WRONG!" Also, the incident that made me "snap" was something that was very small in scope, but part of a larger issue that ~~annoys the fuck out of me~~ slightly irritates me. ^_~

(Yes, this post is my way of being over the top and hopefully funny about my irritation because I don't mean it, but, at the same time, I am still kind of irritated. .....I admit, a part of me is digging my heels in because I'm IRRITATED, DAMMIT, and I won't let you remind me that there are nice, cool people out there who I'd like to still shove TezuAto stuff at. *POUTS!*)

Your post makes me very glad I made ToriShishiHiyo my focus. I came to this fandom to get away from the pairing competitiveness of my last fandom.

*hugs and best wishes*

Well, I've very firmly got my tongue in my cheek over the whole thing, honest. *grin* But... yeah, that the fandom often gets so competitive (and not in a fun, productive way, sadly) that I'm just... bleah. People will behave the way they will behave and I can't change that, but I can change myself. Assuming I do, mind, I may wake up tomorrow and forget about the whole thing. I'm not sure what I'm going to do yet. This was my way of mocking the seriousness with which some people take their fandom (not necessarily Tenipuri) and give me an outlet for my irritation. It's meant to be funny. (I mean, does anyone use "ASHES!" or "TARNISHED!" and "HEART AND SOUL!" in all caps and be serious about it? XD)

*hugs* But thank you very much for the well-wishes. ♥

Relative newbie to PoT fandom, but -

Why the TezuAto faction? Why? That is so inconvenient because nnngh IT IS SO MY OTP ;___; and I take my cue from your recs site and why do they have to be the way they are and what did they do and most importantly why am I so curious about what's happened? ("a lot of people are happily into the fandom and never see even a HINT of wank." one said person would be me. which i'm thankful for, but. curiousity killed the cat & etc, that kind of thing.)

...What is this, a pairings war? I've...never really been into *into* fandom in that snarling and blood and hair-tearing is a common sight, but...I can't understand how things could get so serious. From a casual fan's standpoint, even from a massively In Love With TezuAto Shipper's standpoint - are they, what, huddling in corners and hissing, "Oh, my, God, Betty, just look at that TezuFuji/Atoji/TezuRyoFuji/AtoOshi/AtoKabaji/Ato-everyone/etcinfinity fan and what she's writing/drawing and !!! how dare they pair our preciousss Ore-sama off with anyone else etc" and so on and so forth? Wottheheck? Because if they do, why? Isn't that a completely illogical and a waste of time to boot? Dude. Where's the love? ?______?

(To be fair, on the first readthrough I thought you really were, uh, serious. "ASHES" and "BURN IN HELL" and all that aside. I was wondering at that "^___^V" face at the end though, it seemed so out of place. XDDD)

I'm trying to work on Death Note ficcie?

^^;; Hope I wasn't one of those who set you off, hope we can find a place to play together peacefully.

*laughs* I did think you were being serious, until I read your other comments. ^___^

I guess my judgment is clouded concerning that pairing, since it was one person's very public fanaticism for that pairing (and intolerance for other pairings involving those characters) that ruined any appreciation I might have developed for it.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do. ♥

Yes! Cream of Wheat! And someday we'll get to the bit with the shirts! And it's wonderful. ~drapes self on Becky~ (We can burn him in effigy!)

~grumbles, is tired and sick and accepts huggles without lighting Becky on fire~ Germs mess with my perception they do! And I was a ~~obedient~~ lazy Ingrid and went to sleep shortly after posting the last comment. Am very annoyed with the medication I bought, though. It was supposed to knock me out, and I woke up at midnight and again at 4 am! (And now, too, because there's construction going on in the floor above mine, agh.)

Hmm . . . good point. ~loves on the Becky~ <3

O________________________O

Becky. I want to talk to you. Like, now. (And if it is me who has part-take in the upsetting you bit, please feel free to throw something at my head. That said, and although asking you that question here isn't exactly the smartest thing to do now, but do you still want your gift fic? Or would you like another pairing? I really want to write something for you... ;_;)

Hee hee.... I take things too seriously, but at least I never claimed not to. ^^;;

And I was going to spam you with kittens, but this is the only other pic I had on my HD... I could have sworn there were more.... ;-;

... when I get my Tezuka-plushie... and then I take pics of him with my Atobe-plushie... you still want to see the pics, right? *grins* Because I'm already planning a 'soap opera' with those plushies. XP

*sheepish grin* I didn't mean for this to be a, "Ha ha, I fooled you! FOOLED YOU~ FOOLED YOU~!" sort of thing (especially not people who're my friends), but... I can't say I particularily regret writing the above rant, because I've always said that if you're going to be wanky about something, try to do it with a little humor and style. *grin* If you're going to hate on something, be funny about it. (Or at least give it a good-natured shot. XD)

*lilting voice* Cooooooooo~me~ Listen to meeeee~ I'll make TezuAto fun again~~ (Kidding, kidding. I understand that it's not your thing and that's cool with me. We share a lot of other stuff, so, hey, we can talk about that instead. XD So, uh, how about that ShishiToriHiyo, eh? ^_~)

*grin* Now you know how very seriously we all take you. Are you scared of us yet? ^___^

So, uh, how about that ShishiToriHiyo, eh?

Hehe, actually we do share something there. I like Ohtori about as much as you adore Tezuka. I love ShishiTori as my main Ohtori pairing, but ToriHiyo makes my knees weak, too. I think that helps me see how you can feel just as strongly about TezuFuji and TezAto. Sometimes, it's easier to understand how someone feels when you're in the same situation. ^_~

Even as I was writing my little mock rant above, I knew I wasn't going to step completely away from the pairing, because as irritated as I get with some things, I still love the characters and their relationship with each other. I'm not sure what I'm going to do, because... I mean, I can't change other people, I'm not even going to try because that's not fair and it would be a futile effort anyway. What I can change is my own level of involvement and for right this minute, I needed to step away and deal with my feelings of irritation. (I don't regret this little escapade, I still think it's funny--even if OMG U ALL DUN APPERERATE ME!!!ichi1!--but I might have gone a little more over the top if I'd known. OMG I AM GOING TO KILL MYSELF BY SLITTING MY WRISTS BECAUSE OF THE TRAUMA YOU ALL HAVE INFLICTED ON ME! AND THEN SEND YOU MY THERAPIST'S BILL BECAUSE MY PROBLEMS ARE ALL *YOUR* FAULT, YOU SHITTY FANDOM! )

I'm not sure how to answer the whole pairings war thing because... yeah, it's there, but if you're further towards the fringes than the epicentre of the Tenipuri storm, you probably don't notice them. Or maybe you don't care 'cause you don't see it over and over from the same people like some of us do. Or maybe you have a thicker skin. Or maybe it's not YOUR pairing getting the snotty attitude. Whatever reason. *grin* (It's much, much better than it used to be. But every once in awhile, still....) We're not at GW pairing wars level yet, but put us on Cartoon Network and THEN see what happens. ^_~ (THAT IS A JOKE. NO ONE TAKE THE IDEA SERIOUSLY. *twitches* ^_~)

I love TezuAto. I'll always love it. I wish I had a better answer for what to do about it, because I love helping a little to promote it in a way that I think is better for the "cause" of it. Just... right now... I know this sounds wanky as all hell, but at the end of the day I am the one who has to live with myself and my actions and whatever role I play in a fandom, great or small. (Even if I was only talking to ONE PERSON, my role in the fandom is still my own actions.) And I'm not sure I'm comfortable with providing sparklies to people I feel have misbehaved. The majority of the people in the fandom are absolute dears and I cherish them deeply, but... I'm not sure how to... *waves hands* continue doing what I'm doing while getting around my irritation with the fandom.

Excuse me. I'll go get the mop to clean up my spooge on the walls here. ^_~

Death Note ficcieeeeeeeee~ XD *sparkle*sparkle* *ufufufufu*

And don't worry about it. 99% of the time when I have a problem with a specific someone, I take it to the person first, if only because I get all twittery and nervous that people are going to read my words and go, "Tsch. What a wanky little baby. Grow up, bitch." at me even if I know I'm In The Right. ^_~ Plus, I figure I owe it to the person I'm pissy with since I'd rather, if someone were mad at me, that they handle it that way. *huggles* Don't worry, we play together beautifully! ♥

Pffftttt. Like you could ever upset me, you're one of the nicest, sweetest people I know! (And even if you DID ever upset me, I'd much rather tell you over AIM or in e-mail about it, rather than snark behind your back.)

*_____* Give, give, giiiiiiiiiiiiiiive~ I WANTSES IT. +___+ (You really don't HAVE to write anything for me, I won't really dig my claws in, but neither do I want you to feel you HAVE to write me anything or feel pressured. *smooches* You're a darling just for offering. ♥)

Holy crap, YES. I LOVE the plushie soap operas! And a ZukaAto soap opera plushie-style? That will be GENIUS. ♥♥♥♥

*laughs* Just a little? (Honestly, I have trouble with the idea that anyone would take me seriously, because... uh, hello? Dippy fangirl here. ^_~ What's to take seriously? XD)

*nods* Exactly--it's easier to understand when you have similiar feelings for another pairing. And it would be like if some of the ToriHiyo fans started sniping at the ShishiTori fans... you love them both, maybe your heart belongs to one a little more than the other, one is certainly more popular than the other, but you genuinely enjoy them both... and it's really frustrating to be in the middle. And I'm totally with you on the Ohtori love. After Ohimesame, Ohtori is, hands down, my favorite Hyoutei character. Has anyone written good ToriHiyo fic? *hasn't been browsing the Hyoutei sections lately*

I've been reading the chapters you sent last night and... can I kill Edward? Please? Because, man, I can't believe a character could be THAT ANNOYING. Bruno was right that they DID save his ass at Miss Scrimmages and they didn't have to and Edward could at least have NOT been a snot about that.

Awww, I know you're sick when you don't try to light me on fire or stab me while we're within a five foot radius of each other. How's the nasty, nasty vaporub that YOU HAD TO SWALLOW doing? Feeling better yet? ~~*sharpens knives while she waits*~~

....is it wrong if I'm just a teeny, teeny, teeny bit amused that I apparently tricked you all without even realizing it?

I probably take things too seriously sometimes, too. So I must mock to balance it out! Yes! That explains this whole thing! ^_~

..........awwwww! KITTY! KITTY KITTY KITTY! KITTY ASLEEP ON THE BALL OF YARN! AND ALL TANGLED UP IN IT! I LOVE KITTIES! *gushes*

Yes, yes you may. ~puts arm around Becky~ We can -all- kill Edward, particularly for the little twat being ungrateful about Bruno and Boots saving his worthless little ass from the wrath of the Fish.

I'm feeling a lot better today, actually, and I've got matches and Mr. Stabby, my favourite knife, right here waiting for you, the person who didn't have to swallow vaporub. <3

Yes. Yes it is. Come closer now so I can eat your BRAINS as part of my brilliant revenge scheme.

Remember my friend Jan, who wrote the 13x6 fic? We had a discussion recently on how it was hard for him to understand hardcore OTP people, like me. He was always nice about it, but he never really knew how I felt until he became an OTP fan over a specific pairing. I was pretty happy when he told me that.

Good ToriHiyo fic. Hm. Do you need it to be happy fic? My best friend writes the best Hiyoshi, IMO. If you go to Brand New Days (http://torishishi.com), look for Ruebert. I'd actually recommend his gen story, Manifest, if you'd like to see how he views Hiyoshi. Rue is very concerned with keeping Hiyoshi as close to canon. I also love his Ohtori. He's not the super sweet guy that many people write him as. For me, his Ohtori is right up there with Emily Ravenwood's, and I love her characterizations of Ohtori and Shishido.

I'd also say to read Mcat and Yume (in my Ohtori/Other section). Monnie's ToriHiyo is pretty good, too. But I still think Rue's is the best. ^___^

... not to mention that my Atobe-plushie is the winter edition one... with him wearing a purple overcoat, and holding a stem of rose in one hand. *eeeeeeeeeeeeeeevil grin*

*already written a script for it*

#^__^# Well. *is on AIM at the moment* I'm sorry about yesterday... supposed to come on but I was so bushed at the end of the day, I toppled into bed at around 11pm. I won't be around for the next few days though, I have lots of things to do... T-T But I'll try and be on every night.

*g* We haven't finished discussing it but I'll try and catch you again online to finishing talking about the fic so that I can write it as soon as possible. ^^

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